New Trend At Book Signings: Punch the Author


British pop diva Leona Lewis was slapped upside the head while signing copies of her autobiography, Dreams, at a London book shop today.

According to an eyewitness at Waterstones‘ Piccadilly branch,”[the attacker] walked up there with the book, she signed it and, as she looked up, he just punched her. She was running out with her hand over her eye.”

A statement on the singer’s website declares that “Leona is understandably shaken and apologises to the fans she was unable to meet and complete signings.”

PEN has yet to issue a statement but I imagine it will read something along these lines: PEN is outraged and obviously concerned that this incident may not be isolated and provide further evidence of the decline of civility in Western culture.

We at Book Patrol do not condone violence, particularly against writers, yet we cannot help but think that there are probably a few authors, dead or alive, who might have or would benefit from the attitude-adjustment which only a knuckle sandwich can provide.

As strictly a thought experiment, we invite you to submit your nominations for Writers We’d Like To Wallop with a brief explanation about why your choice merits a slug. Larry King, who has never met a book he didn’t sign, is not eligible secondary to age, eyeglasses, and the fact that he is, alas, a nice guy.